The attitudes and feelings that help communication are easy to list—openness, honesty, respect, clarity, responsibility, accountability and a willingness to listen and to learn.
What blocks effective communication are anger, resentment, dishonesty, intimidation and holding back information. And unless you do something to remove these blocks, you won't be receiving the best care your doctor can offer you.
Anger It isn't the anger you might feel about having cancer or anger over a test result that can hinder communication. It is a generalized anger that some people feel toward doctors, an anger that says "they earn too much, they never listen, they're insensitive, they don't really care, they think they're God."
You may have good reason to feel angry. Your doctor may keep you waiting for an hour and then spend only five minutes with you. It may take forever for your calls to be returned. Whether your anger is justified or not, communicate how you feel. If you don't say it openly, the anger will be communicated anyway and will always be a barrier to openness and honesty.
You can express your anger and still be respectful. Write down how you feel clearly and concisely. If you write it down it will be easier to speak without resentment. Then respect your doctor's time. Let the appointment desk know you want extra time during the next visit to talk about things that are bothering you and interfering with your ability to have a good working relationship.
